Monday, March 26, 2012

Want to hear a scary story?



If someone were to ask me this question I would reply with an instant NO. I do not like scary stories and partly because scary stories are so fake. In most cases we know what's going to happen next and we anticipate the person falling while running from the Boogie man or the naive young girl answering the door after a suspicious sound is made outside. In most cases they really play on our intelligence, thus my dislike for watching scary movies.

On a different note I have a real life scary story of my own. In the end the Boogie man didn't catch me and I was able to come out victorious over my assailant who was in my opinion the devil himself. Why do I feel it was Satan? Because John 10:10 tell us that the thief comes in to steal, kill, and destroy. What did he want from me? The answer would be; at that time my youth or perhaps my future.

I found myself at the age of 15 pregnant without a clue of what to do. I stayed in denial for the first few months and didn't tell anyone except the father to be. I continued cheering as I was on my high schools' cheering squad, and did not seek any medical attention. I couldn't do any of those things or stop cheering because my parents would find out. I was so afraid of what my mom would do to me or my father to my boyfriend at that time. I was raised better. I was taught to keep myself until marriage. Then again, was I? Not really would be my answer now looking back.

On April 6, 1991 I delivered my son before I was even old enough to drive. I couldn't work either as I wasn't old enough. Where would money come from to buy necessities that a newborn baby would need? Who would pay the medical bills? I didn't have a clue, nor did my boyfriend who was on the Varsity football team and spending every day after school at football practice.

As expected, my parents were furious. My dad even told my boyfriend not to come within 10ft of our house again. My mom would look at me with such disgust and disappointment. I knew then that I had embarrassed my family and God. I was a good girl who was raised in the church. I attended every Sunday without having to be prompt by my parents. I was on the honor roll, cheerleader, very popular with the students in my school and well known by the teachers as being a great student. I guess I disappointed them as well. I was a thin person so I didn't show until I was almost seven months pregnant. Even after my delivery I had a wash board stomach again.

I had a lot going for myself. I was sure to be great as I had been molded and sheltered against all things that could harm me. My parents kept a close watch on me. We were not allowed to go many places without my parents and sleep overs were out of the question.

The glory in this story is that I learned a very important message although some would feel that my new knowledge came a day late while I was a dollar short. Being able to reflect now almost 21 yrs. later I can truly say that through it all, God had his hands on me. I am also reminded of Jeremiah 29:11 (For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future). God knew then what I know now, to an extent, and he carried me through. Was it God's will that I go through that at such a young age? I'm actually glad he did. However, I still went through (and sometimes now) the pain and embarrassment of being a statistic. I was a teenage mother who had a baby out of wedlock.

With the help of my strong village I can proudly say that the young man I delivered before graduating high school (and I did graduate) has grown to become a very loving and decent young man. He is a law abiding citizen who continues to make his family proud. I didn't do it alone and I don't take all the credit. I had a village of grandparents, friends, ministers, neighbors, etc. that helped me make it through. I know in my heart that the situation could have really gone a different way. I could have repeated my actions over and over and over. My heart was turned to God. I was Godly sorry for my actions and sorry that I had disappointed my family. We were restored in love and my parents and I remained close and they helped me in every way they could. After all, I had given them their first grandchild whom they loved and adored.

God know what he is doing and he helps us when we fall to be restored unto him. He wishes that we wouldn't have to go through these heartaches and pains and he has provided a plan for us. When we are young we feel we are invincible and nothing will happen to us. We play with fire and we get burned. We fail to heed to the teachings of our parents and we think we know it all. Let me remind you that God's way is the best way. He has peeked into all of our futures and he knows what is down the road ahead. He will shield us from danger but he will not force us. He has ordained a plan for our life by writing a script for each individual. We as his children are responsible for seeking his plan and his script and acting the part.

I encourage all young ladies I meet to stay in God's order. God has ordained marriage and in the sanctity of marriage should be born children. There's a reason for this order. Our society is affected when we step out of order. Our homes are affected. Our children are affected.

I know of far too many stories that didn't turn out the way mine did. I don't claim to be successful and I made many more mistakes along the way. God kept me and continues to keep me. He gave me back my confidence and allowed me to raise my head that had been lowered because of my sin. He reminded me that all children are gifts from God. I had to learn that the act of fornication was the sin but not the birth of my son.

It is my prayer that the order of family be kept holy and that every young girl that reads my story be reminded of God's order. Again, God's way is the best way. He knows what is best for you. He desires the best for his children. He wants to take us places and show us things. The devil wants to stunt our growth and keep us in bondage and sin. We have to step on Satan's head and stand firm in the teachings of God.


Be Blessed and stay encouraged,

Southern Belle

Friday, March 9, 2012

Drama... Everybody knows all about it.

DRAMA... Unnecessary yes, but is it unavoidable?
I know what you might be thinking, "Why in the world are people always talking about you, when they don't even know you?"  Well, it could be a couple things really:

  Are you that fabulous that are they just jealous?

Are you wearing something a little too sexy for the occasion or just drawing the wrong attention to yourself?

Are you yourself always talking about others in a negative way?

Whatever the case, we women seem to never be allowed to evade drama.  When I was in my younger teen and twenty plus years of age, I seemed to be just swamped, drowned, and covered in absolute drama.  I mean, I couldn't get away from it.  As I began to age in my wisdom, I started to realize that I couldn't evade the drama, because in a lot of ways I brought it on myself.  

Now, no - I didn't ask to get raped and ask for no one to believe me, but I dressed provocatively (too sexy for every occasion) and I always put myself in an unsafe situation.  I did drugs or got drunk and hung around a lot of "guy friends."  

No, I didn't ask for my roommate to just take off with all of my furniture, food, and other necessities, because she didn't want to pay for her portion of the rent.  However, I rushed into rooming with her and I didn't consider her background.  And no, I didn't get her to sign documents necessary to force her to commit.

No, I didn't ask to get looked over for promotion time and time again, but I did choose to lie about little things like why I was late and I didn't truly show respect and support to my superiors, did I? 

So, what about you?  What's your story?  Are you truly doing what you can to avoid as much drama as possible (because no one is ever going to be without a little bit of it)?  Or are you lining up your life to open up drama full force into your life with your blinders on?

This blog is about real women who are going to share their real stories and experiences.  Yep, REAL LIFE DRAMA, but the difference here is that we're not sharing drama to hear all of those negative opinions and statements from anyone, including those having experienced it themselves - past or present.  We share all of this to give you a different perspective - a positive perspective - in hopes to empower you and help you get through life a little less drama filled. 

Enjoy our blog and please share our message... 

-Just call me "Esther T."